Beauty Principle- Seeketh not her own

In accordance with Princess Academy, creator Donna Goff introduces beauty principles that go along with the books that the girls read as a part of their hope chest journey. I have been wanting to implement this for awhile, so I have decided to start blogging about different principles that I am learning about, sometimes with my girls, on my journey of discovering what beauty is all about.

Today while studying the word charity, I came across the phrase, "seeketh not her own" in Moroni 7:45. Moroni is a book in the Book of Mormon, which is a book similar to the Bible, but is written by prophets and others from the American Continent instead of the Jews. As I read these words, I asked myself the question, "What does it really mean to seek not your own?" Many thoughts came to my mind and I will share a few of them.

During the American revolution, and subsequent founding of the United States of America, many people who took part in this understood this principle. Every man who signed the Declaration of Independence was taking a huge chance on his life and the lives of his family, his property, and his personal comfort. Isn't it ironic that the very document they were signing contained these words, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are the very things they were sacrificing personally to achieve the greater goal for mankind.

I strongly believe in personal mission, and sometimes my personal mission will require the sacrifice of my personal comforts and those of my family. The word service connotes sacrifice. Realizing that the benefits for the good of all, including myself and family in the word all, outweigh the sacrifice, is a part of the answer to my original question. It would have been easy for the founding fathers to ignore their mission. Many of these men were very wealthy. They could have easily just lived their lives comfortably and ignored the needs of society. These were regular citizens who saw a need and did whatever they could to fill that need.

What would happen today if our leaders did not seek their own, but sought the good of mankind? Do leaders like this even exist anymore? We must create these leaders in ourselves and our children. How do we do this? I believe the answer is education. Our public education system today focuses on job training, or in other words, my own comfort. What if our education focused instead on personal mission for the good of mankind? How can we fill needs if we don't have the education to understand what those needs are?

I feel the need to focus myself again. I want to fulfill my mission. For the last several years, I have been self-educating. I have learned a lot, but I have come to the point where I need a mentor. I need to go to school. I have struggled with guilt about this for some time thinking that I will be taking away from the needs of my family. The scripture I read this morning and writing this blog have helped me to realize that sometimes seeking not your own means you do something for yourself that at first seemed selfish. It's not really about ME though, it is about my mission and the good of mankind.

SO, my first resolution for 2010 is to get a job. The family finances do not allow for school tuition, so I am going to get a job as a small step towards getting me to school. I am excited! "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."

Letters

Dearest Ellie,

How can I even begin to let you know what your gift meant to me. Do you know how perfect this gift was for me and how much it was accompanied by God's love? Thank you for being so in tune to my needs and for acting on your impression, because I have to believe that is the only way you possibly could have known.

Did you know that I have longed to be beautiful for so long? I never spend money on myself. I can never justify the expense. My kids' and husband's needs always cry out so much stronger than mine. Thank you for reminding me that my needs are important too. I would never have picked out the dress and tights you bought. I love them. They are beautiful. Did you know that I have wanted a new dress for a very long time? I thought it was a selfish desire. You have a husband and kids too. I am sure they have many needs. Do you know how loved I feel that you would choose to buy those things for ME? I'm sure it was so simple for you, but it was ever so HUGE for me. The dress, tights, makeup, fingernail polish, and jewelry make me feel so beautiful. Thank you.

I know that true beauty is on the inside not the outside. Did you know that I have felt so ugly my whole life? My lack of care for the outside of my body is a reflection of how I have felt on the inside for so long. This past two years or so I have been going through intense healing on the inside. I'm not finished, but I feel the desire to make my outside self reflect the healing that has occurred on the inside. Thank you for helping me remember.

Do you know that you reminded me that God is watching over me and taking care of even my little needs that sometimes feel so insignificant? Do you know that you reminded me how precious I am to my Father in Heaven and that I am a beautiful princess? Do you know what it means to me to have someone who has known me for such a short time show such love and care? Do you know how beautiful YOU are? I am so grateful to have you in my life and that the Lord saw fit to make you my Visiting Teacher. You are a light to me. Thank you for sharing your light. I love you.

Love, Maria



To all of my wonderful friends,

Thank you for your support and love. I truly feel blessed to have so many who have shown support. Mostly for your kind words. I hope you feel the gratitude in my heart. I love you.

Love, Maria

Symbolism

Pain is such a weird thing. I use the word pain to describe the physical hurting that I have gone through the last 4 days. When the pain first started it felt like glorified cramps. I have felt that pain many times. It has become almost a comfortable part of me. But then the pain got worse. I was in labor. For 2 hours, I felt the excruciating pain that I have felt every time I have gone to the hospital to have my beautiful babies. For me those times of pain were followed by exquisite moments of joy. This time was different. I started to panic. The words, "I can not do this" were repeated in my head numerous times. I cried a lot. I did not want to feel this pain. Finally, at the moment of despair, it was over. At least, the intense physical pain. I held the baby in my hands. The baby was as big as the palm of my hand. That moment will forever be etched in my mind. A perfect creation, with no life. What sorrow. For several minutes, I just waited, wondering what to do with this beautiful part of me and my husband. I finally wrapped it in toilet paper and flushed it praying to God that this was an acceptable way to dispose of this creation. I thought the pain would then be over. I was wrong. For 3 days afterward, I had after birth pains. I didn't know this could happen with a miscarriage.

I also use the word pain to describe the emptiness and hurt I feel in my heart and my womb. Each pain I felt during labor and after labor was symbolic of the emotional pain. Every cramp was a reminder of the stab I felt in my heart that the hopes and plans I had made would no longer be realized. At least not now. And not in my way. I am not ready to resume normal life. I feel expected to resume. I don't want to. I want to still feel this pain. I want to cry and let the tears wash over me. It's weird to say, but this pain is also a comfort to me. This grief feels good in a way. I am not ready to let it go. I need to let it go. My children need me. My husband needs me. I just want to fill MY needs for awhile. Selfish I know. I am not strong right now. I don't want to be strong right now. For now, I just pray that I will want to soon. That is all the strength I have right now. I am a fighter. I SHALL conquer this.

Sad news

Today I am sad.

I just want to curl up back in my bed and ignore my duties and responsibilities. That would just make everything so much worse, so I am going to write about it so I can allow myself to feel and experience this sadness for just a little while longer.

Last night, I received a confirmation of something I already knew. Pregnancy # 8 has ended at around 12 weeks gestation, and I have yet to wait for the precious contents to be expelled. It is a baby to me, not just a fetus. I have already emotionally bonded with this precious baby, so the grief is hard to bear... again. This is the 4th time I have felt this grief. I've already told my kids they were going to have another sibling. I thought we were out of the woods. All of my other miscarriages happened before 9 weeks. I don't know how I am going to tell them the news. I have told too many people. I wish they all read this blog, so I could just say it here and be done.

I went to a midwife to get checked. She couldn't find a heartbeat, and she was so very compassionate. I am so grateful. I asked her how much we owe her for the visit and she told me not to worry about it. This was the first time I had met her. What a kind person.

Today I must find a doctor to reconfirm with ultra sound what I already know. I guess I will tell my kids after this. For now, I am just going to keep myself busy and focus on living instead of falling apart. I do feel Heaven's help, comfort, and sweet love. What a blessing. All will be healed and I will come away feeling grateful for the experience.

An amazing speech

Because freedom is my passion, and is what I want to share with the world, I am sharing a link to an extraordinary speech on freedom that I read. If you have a moment, check this out. You will not regret doing so.

Liber Tea Luncheon #3

This month, each family chose a book from The Little House series. Our family chose Farmer Boy. (BTW, I know that book titles are suppose to be underlined, and I do not know how to do it on blogger, so I just look like I don't know proper grammar.) Every time I read Farmer Boy, I am reminded of how few skills I really have when it comes to being self sufficient. These people literally produced everything that they used in their families. I love how beautifully the processes were laid out from start to finish. For instance, the author describes the process of making their own clothing from shearing sheep all the way to the final article of clothing. Perhaps one of the most fascinating things to me that they did was cutting their own ice out of a frozen lake, and the process of storing it for summertime use. They knew the meaning of work.

Another thing that inspired me from this reading was how much value they placed on the few things that they had. The children were taught from an early age to take care of the things they had. They depended on these things. Even their play things and toys were lovingly cared for because they only had a few items that they absolutely loved. My children do not "love" their toys in this way. Is the problem that they have too many things, or that I have not modeled proper care of things, or something else. Perhaps a combination of many things.

We had our 3rd Princess Academy Liber Tea Luncheon this past Friday, hosted by the Claunch family. We again had a wonderful luncheon, valuable discussion, and we had what I would call "mini-factories of production." We learned the whole process of preserving vegetables the old fashioned way, without canning or freezing. We started with picking the vegetables, washing them, cutting them, and then starting the process of "lacto-fermentation." I am truly learning so much.

Oh, Freedom

One of my favorite authors of all time wrote a book called A Thomas Jefferson Education: Leadership Education for the 21st Century. His name is Oliver DeMille. I believe the principles that are taught in this book. I named my 4th child after this man. He was and is influential in so many of my paradigm shifts, because he teaches that we need to learn to think for ourselves. I am grateful daily for this awareness. The trends in society today have been such that we have allowed ourselves to blindly follow "experts" for lack of a better term. We do not trust ourselves. We make decisions for our homes and families based on what the latest experts say are right. What if the expert(s) is/are wrong? This would make it important for me to know how to think, particularly to ask the right questions.

True freedom requires education and accountability. Without these, we are slaves. The founding fathers understood this principle. What would have happened if they had not learned to question and think for themselves, and then use their knowledge to make decisions? We certainly would not have the freedoms we now enjoy.


Education is the tool whereby we come to an awareness of what our options are. The educational systems today focus on cramming information into your brain and then parroting back the information to get a good grade. The focus is on learning "what to think." There are no other options. You learn what the textbook says is the truth. This is not how the founding fathers got an education. They read the classics. They did not read some college professors version of the classics. They read several points of view and then were able to form their own opinions. As a result, we have a system of government "by the people" that has lasted longer than any other such government. We are still reaping the fruits, even without understanding the principles of freedom that they understood. This can not last. They understood that it could not last without a moral, educated people.

Accountability is the other prerequisite to freedom. After we have been presented with many options, we make an informed decision based on this knowledge. Then we must be accountable for that decision. Will we make mistakes? Yes. Is it easier to let someone else make the decisions for us? Maybe. Because we have someone else to blame when a mistake is made. Is it better to let someone else make decisions for us? An emphatic no! It is so amazing to live the law of the harvest which says you reap what you sew. Without personal accountability, there is no freedom. The consequences we face are not a result of exercising our freedom to choose, they are a result of someone else's choices. Without personal accountability, we are in effect, handing over our freedom to someone else. We are being acted upon, instead of acting.

So what has prompted my rantings and ravings? Actually it is the swine flu. I believe much of the panic surrounding this subject has been prompted by a whole lot of misinformation. Some questions that have come to my mind are: Is the swine flu that big of a deal? Is it worse than regular flu? Are the options that are coming forth to treat it safe? Can the government really come up with a "safe" immunization in less than a year? Are the risks of the immunization worth the benefits? and so many other questions that I have.

I believe the principles of knowledge and accountability can be applied any time an "expert" or "authority" recommends a course of action. I am not implying that there is no place for trained experts or that we shouldn't follow their recommendations. I am saying find out if that is the course you should take. Don't take my word for it.

I am a lover of freedom and desire to do everything in my power to see that freedom is not lost. Once it is lost, it is extremely difficult to gain it back. I am optimistic that the people will rise up again and do whatever it takes to preserve our freedom. I want to join with all the freedom lovers. I can and I will make a difference. I will study classics, and learn to think for myself a little more every day. As long as I and others are diligent, we will not accept less than freedom. We can do this. I invite you to join me on this journey.

More of our journey

Today, Elena and my sister Jennifer did some deep cleaning of our living room. The window was washed, piano keys thoroughly cleaned, baseboards scrubbed, and wall vents removed and cleaned. My sister did most of the work, but Elena helped and was very happy through the process. The best part was the conversation that went on between my sister and my daughter. She is learning so many great things from so many great people. What a wealth of education. I'm grateful to have family members to assist me with my girls and their hope chest journey.

The best season of the year

The beautiful colors everywhere, the cool nights, and beautiful days remind me that it is time for fall. I love the fall!

When it is fall, I get back into the cycle of devouring books. Something about the chilly nights, makes me long to curl up with my family next to the fireplace, and read a great and inspiring story. I think we will read Carry On, Mr. Bowditch. This book always inspires a desire for improvement through education, and bettering ourselves despite opposition and difficulty. Definitely a favorite classic of our family. What are some of your favorites? 'Tis the season to read again and I love ideas. It feels natural to me to begin studies and projects again that have been put off during the warm summer months when we spent the time instead playing late into the evenings and lazily sleeping in. It feels good to renew routines, and just feel the natural cycles of this amazing Earth.

I think the rest of the family is feeling it too. Elena is spending hours reading her books. (She has read over 25 chapter books in the last month.) Alexia is writing and painting and reading. And often times I find them playing together quietly in corners of the house, creating, imagining, and learning together. They play church, store, school, house, dress up, and even create houses. Oh beautiful girlhood! I wish I could always see the beauty in the little things they do, instead of feeling overwhelmed with my agenda (which feels so insignificant as I write this) I want to treasure these moments in my heart always. We are in the middle of fall break right now, so McKay is home, and I can sense in him a desire to be at school learning. Although he has been drawing and studying fish, it is hard for him to separate himself from the frolicking girls, and the busy baby.

Book learning is perhaps my favorite part of the hope chest journey. I just reviewed the talk given by Elder Christofferson in the most recent general conference. I am inspired by this man's words. He is a teacher of the principles of freedom. I was truly moved. So many things to learn, so many things to do. I feel the weight of the responsibility we have to change the trends of society, but I also feel a great hope and support that we truly can do this. It starts with me and my family, and I believe the key to this change is through education. I believe that the main purpose of education today is to train the masses for jobs. I don't want this for my children. I want my children to have moral education, or what Donna Goff calls, "education of the heart, mind, and hands."

Liber Tea Luncheon

This is the name of the luncheon that we have as part of Princess Academy. Today was our second meeting for princess academy, but our first official luncheon. It was quite a success. We had so much fun. One of the other families in the group hosted, and they did an incredible job. All of us had lunch together, which we all contributed to and helped clean up, we discussed the book Little Women, and learned to embroider and paint on fabric. We have been dreaming and scheming ever since about embroidering projects that we want to start. (Possibly Christmas gifts for grandmas and grandpas.) What a great skill to know. I feel that I am growing leaps and bounds right along with my daughters. Thank you Kennisons for such a wonderful afternoon.

While driving to Fairview this evening, I was pondering many things. One of those things, is how grateful I am for the amazing friendships I have been blessed with throughout my life. I was thinking about my life and the things I have been able to accomplish, and the thought came to me that I could not be the person I am without the people who have strategically been placed in my life. I am indebted to each one of them. So if you are reading this, chances are you are one of those such people. I thank you for the impact you have had on my life, and I hope that in some small way I have been able to impact yours. A quote from Joseph Smith illustrates some of my feelings:
"How good and glorious it has seemed unto me, to find pure and holy friends, who are faithful, just, and true, and whose hearts fail not..."

Random Pictures

The new toy

so for months now I have been having trouble uploading pictures, but McKay finally got it worked out. A few months ago Clarence bought a new toy and he and McKay have been gone fishing as frequently as possible. I don't go much because I get motion sickness so easily, but Clarence has taken all of us tubing on the back of the boat a few times. It has been lots of fun, and a great relationship builder for he and McKay. These pictures are from 2 fishing trips, one at Strawberry Reservoir and one at Utah Lake. McKay wants me to point out that the huge catfish in the picture was caught by him and not his dad.

Castles in the Sky

This month for Princess Academy, Elena and Alexia and I are reading Little Women. We just finished the chapter entitled Castles in the Air. It was very inspiring and we decided to make our own "castles" by writing down some of our dreams and the things we would like to accomplish into our princess diaries. This was a great opportunity for me to see what is in my girls' hearts and will help me better plan my educational goals for them. I have been thinking a lot lately about creation, and what a beautiful process it is. When God created the Earth, he created it spiritually first. What a beautiful concept. I have been feeling the need lately to "spiritually create" my realities. This also agrees with The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey wherein he states the first habit as Begin with the end in mind. If we have a plan, we can create. I am so excited to create beauty in my life and teach my children the principles to do the same. What an amazing world we live in. The opportunities are there. We just have to imagine them and they will be ours, with a little work and a little faith.

Our Hope Chest Journey

In times not so long ago, little girls created hope chests. These chests were filled with things that would help them to be wives and mothers. Maybe an heirloom family bible, christening suit, wedding dress, hand made items, etc. would be included in the chest. What you could not see in the chest was the education and training that went into each item placed therein. Often a girl would begin at around 8 years old to fill her hope chest assisted by generations of women in her life. This is the vision of Donna Goff, the woman who created Princess Academy: daughter of a king and the Hope Chest Journey. I am so grateful for her vision and for sharing it with others. I desire to begin documenting our hope chest journey, or the things that we are learning to prepare us to be queens. Some of the things we are working on are:

Pillows: The girls decided they wanted to learn to sew little pillows to put on their beds. They are each making two, one to keep and one to give away. Elena wants to hand sew her pillows and Alexia wants to use a sewing machine. So far we have gotten the fabric and have cut it out.

Princess Diaries: At our last meeting for Princess academy, (which consists of a group of mothers and daughters) we each made princess diaries to record things that we are learning on our hope chest journey.

bedroom designing: The girls cut out pictures of bedroom sets that they want for their bedrooms, and glued them in collage format into their princess diary. (I am doing the same thing for my house) We are going to work on finding older but sturdy furniture so that we can learn to refinish and reuse.

Baking: Elena has been doing a lot of baking. At least once a week she helps me bake bread or she makes snacks for everyone with me loosely supervising. She is getting quite skilled in the kitchen. This is a picture of some cookies she made completely on her own. I just answered questions.

We are having a wonderful journey thus far.

Princess Academy

McKay will be attending Liberty Academy this year. He has grown to a point where he needs mentors to guide his education, because I can no longer keep up with the things he is doing and learning. I have spent many years focusing on creating an environment that would allow McKay to foster a love for learning and a sense of mission, and I believe he has started on the right track. I erroneously believed that if I could create this environment for McKay, the girls would magically follow. That has not happened. My girls have largely been ignored in their education and they are bored. They have learned things along the way. They are both doing really well with reading and a few other interests, but they need direction and more one on one time with me.

The last few months, I have been pondering and praying what to do with my girls this year. I think I have found my answer. Last week, we were at the library looking for books to check out when the title of a book jumped out at both me and Elena. The Princess Academy by Shannon Hale. Then as we were walking through the children's section another title begged to be checked out. It is called Daughter of a King. I can't recall the author. We checked out all of our books then went home to enjoy our spoils. A few hours later, my good friend called. She told me about a training meeting she was attending that evening for an educational program that someone in the homeschool community had created for girls and mothers. The title? The Princess Academy: Daughter of a King and The Hope Chest Journey. Coincidence? I don't think so. I attended the meeting and was very inspired to start a princess Academy circle in my community. I can not wait to learn with my girls about who we are as daughters and study other women and girls that are emulatable. We will be striving to gain an education of the mind, heart, and hands. I am so excited to start this year.

Birthday boy

I remember as a child thinking that people who are the parents of youth are really old. Well I am now that parent. McKay turned 12 last Saturday and his dad took him on a great fishing trip at Yuba Lake with some buddies from work. As you can tell from the pictures, he thought it was the greatest time. In June, we went on a family vacation to Minnesota and South Dakota, and McKay fell in love with fishing. He has since borrowed a field guide from the library and has studied every fish in our lakes. He has become quite the fish expert now to add to his extensive knowledge of birds and other wildlife. He also gets to go on a 3 day backpacking trip next week with his scout group, and is so excited to do some more fishing, and try fly fishing.

McKay has recently started drum lessons and is doing really well with it. We picked up a drum set for him for his birthday and he practices every day, much to the annoyance of his sisters. He is able to keep the beat on some songs, and he is learning to add his own flare to the drum beats he is learning. It is really fun to hear him practice.

McKay is a great example to me every day. He is so excited to receive the priesthood. He is a leader in his peer group. He makes decisions based on what is right and not on what every one else is doing. He has an amazing thirst for knowledge that inspires me every day. When he makes mistakes that he recognizes, he apologizes and tries to do better. He is responsible and helpful to me, and if the truth be told, I rely on him for many things in our family. He truly is growing up to be a young man. Happy birthday, McKay! I love you very much.

Great Webinar

This is how I will be spending my evening tonight! I am SO excited.

The Making of America , Part 1 of 4
Join us for a Webinar on July 7

Reserve your Webinar seat now at:
(Your actual invitation will include the internet address to register)

(Description of Part I)
*Participants should download Study Guide for Part I at
www.nccs.net prior to the webinar.
**This webinar will be recorded and archived at www.nccs.net
***There is no cost for this webinar

Title: The Making of America , Part 1 of 4
Date: Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Time: 6:00 PM - 7:30 PM MST
After registering you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the Webinar.

System Requirements
PC-based attendees required: Windows® 2000, XP Home, XP Pro, 2003 Server, Vista
Macintosh®-based attendees required: Mac OS® X 10.4 (Tiger®) or newer

New Kids Pictures

Blessings

It has been such a long time since the last update. Sorry we have been crazy busy. The loan on our house did go through and we are now happy homeowners. We moved in April 2, and I still find myself putting things away. Clarence already has many projects going on, such as cleaning up the yard, building a pantry, moving walls, etc. He is in his element now. Clarence's company has now been put on a furlough program, where they work 3 weeks and then get one week off unpaid. Scary. But on the bright side, the kids and I are working at a local raw milk dairy and getting lots of great, fresh, delicious dairy foods and meat. I feel extremely blessed. I'm not posting pictures of the house, you will just have to come and see us. The kids are loving it here. They have already made lots of friends. This neighborhood has been very welcoming. We are definitely meant to be here right now. Here are a few more recent pics of my little man. He is such a sweetheart. He rolls all over the place now. Pretty soon, he'll be into everything.

6 months old!


This is how Oliver uses his pacifier now.



Clarence got these shirts from a buddy at work. He thought it was pretty funny, so he had me take a picture. If you can't read Oliver's shirt it says "I was in for 9 months now I'm on probation." Clarence's shirt seriously makes him look like a jail inmate.




This is a short video of Oliver's first time eating food. Pretty cute, but not a very clear picture.

Check this out!

McKay just posted some interesting posts about his birding adventures in our yard. Check it out if you have a minute. Here. I think it's pretty great how much he loves his birds and he has some great stories. It really is fun to watch the kids grow up and learn new things. We still have not heard whether our loan has gone through or not and we are suppose to close the 30th of this month. Stress!!! I took Oliver to the doctor today, because he sounds like Darth Vader when he breathes, but luckily, it's just a bad cold. I was a little nervous about RSV or pneumonia. I am so grateful it is not. Other than that, things are going well, I just wish I knew what was going on with the house. Anyhow, life is good.

The bottom of the laundry pile

So I have been searching for my camera for a few days now. I found it on my couch, under the huge laundry pile that has not moved for awhile. Some of the pictures of Oliver that I found cracked me up. I guess the kids take off with the baby more than I realized. Poor 4th child.


Oliver posing as the chef.


Oliver posing as Winnie the Pooh sitting next to fingernail polish stained Piglet.


Oliver being forced to walk way before he's ready.


Oliver pleading to be rescued from this craziness. I don't allow the girls to hold him that often, but when they do, they sure have fun. Here are a few more pics of my boy.


Some of Oliver's skills.

The Home Feeling

One of my favorite books of all time is called Laddie. It is about a large family, set in the early American time period. In one part of the book, they are standing on a point that overlooks their whole property, discussing some of the trials they have faced, and the many things they have overcome, until now they can see the fruits of their labors in their land. They had started with nothing and now they have ownership of this beautiful land, their home, and their family. One of the characters calls this feeling the "home feeling". It is a feeling of ultimate peace, joy, and contentment.

The last 2 days or so I have felt the "home feeling". I feel as if I can see everything we have gone through together as a family thus far, and I am standing at a point overlooking it all, and feeling this ultimate feeling. I can see the purpose for it all, and I am just content to be today. My family makes me happy. I am so content with where we are now and my heart is spilling over with joy. What a glorious feeling. I just want to feel this way always, and I believe there will come a day when I will. But for now, I am going to enjoy it while it lasts. I wish I could give this joy to everyone.

We are under contract for a home, and are supposed to close the end of March. We will see what happens. Hopefully the financing will pull through. I wish for all of you to have a fabulous day! As soon as I find my camera, I will post some long overdue pictures.

Reflections

Clarence and I have been married for almost 13 years and we have never had a house. We have always lived in a modular home or rented, which is perfectly fine with me. I could have worked and had a house but it has always been more important to me to be home with my children. Because the markets have plummeted, Clarence has a higher paying job, and we now have four children in a 2 bedroom apartment, we recently made the decision to begin house hunting. We have been house hunting for about a month or so, and have found the house that we want. However, yesterday, about 60 percent of my husband's company was cut to part time hours for a while. This did not affect my husband, yet. The fear engulfs me at times, yet in quiet moments we still feel good about offering on this house. All of this hardship around me actually is causing me to feel extremely grateful for the blessings we do have. What is a house and things really? The real wealth that I have is a loving husband who takes care of me, 4 beautiful children, a wonderful extended family and many amazing friendships. I am also grateful for the experiences of life that are helping me to turn to the Savior and rely on Him more fully. I am excited about the opportunities coming our way.

I just have a spare minute or two, but I wanted to post a few pictures. Maybe in a day or two I will have some time to do a real post. Notice Oliver's cheeks. I just want to squish them daily. He's so fun!







Here is one of all the kids ready to go to church.